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Not long ago, I was conducting one-on-one interviews with city councilmembers to help craft a candidate profile for their next city manager. As expected, we covered a wide range of attributes, including strategic thinking, community engagement and organizational management. But one theme surfaced again and again: the importance of balancing both a decisive, get-it-done leadership style and a nurturing, listening-centered approach.
What stood out to me most during these interviews was the top concern voiced by multiple council members: “We don’t want someone who gets walked on.”
This sentiment reflects a tension I’ve seen in many city halls. Local government leaders are increasingly expected to demonstrate emotional intelligence, humility and collaboration while also being bold, confident decision-makers. There’s a unique nuance in navigating these seemingly opposing expectations.
On one end of the spectrum, the assertive leader is action-oriented, unafraid to challenge norms and ready to make tough calls. In fast-moving or high-pressure environments, this kind of leadership can be essential. These are the people who get things done — and quickly.
However, unchecked, this style can become too rigid or authoritarian. Staff may feel sidelined. Residents may feel dismissed. The “results” may come at the expense of team trust or buy-in. As one of my city manager mentors likes to say about this style, “They may take that hill and take it quickly, but how many will they leave injured or dead in their wake?”
On the other end is the nurturing leader — someone who listens deeply, cultivates consensus and puts relationships first. These leaders are often the stabilizing force during transitions or political turbulence. They create safety, loyalty and long-term cohesion.
Yet this approach, especially in a politically intense environment, can be perceived as indecisiveness or passivity. And that fear, the fear of being “walked on”, can discourage councils from fully embracing candidates with this style, even if they bring tremendous strengths.
The reality is this: great leadership requires both strength and heart. The most effective city managers, department heads and executives I’ve worked with are those who know how to shift between these two modes. They lead with clarity and conviction, but never at the expense of listening. They make hard decisions, but with care. They prioritize outcomes, but not at the cost of relationships.
They understand that strength isn’t about volume or velocity. Rather, it’s about integrity, steadiness and adaptability. And that nurturing doesn’t mean weak; it means wise.
In today’s complex public sector landscape, where communities are more engaged and expectations are higher than ever, this blended style of leadership is more than an ideal to strive for — it’s essential. Our residents want transparency, empathy and accountability, while still demanding action and progress.
If you’ve seen this balance done well or wrestled with how to support it in your own organization, I’d love to hear about it.
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